


Learning to Let Go

by Do_not_careissa



Series: Star Sapphire Jason [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Green Lantern (Comics), Green Lantern: The Animated Series, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Good Guy Guy Gardner, Good Guy Hal Jordan, Hal and Guy to the rescue, Hal and Jason talk about their deaths, Hinted JayRoy, Hurt/Comfort, Jason Todd Has Issues, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Lian Harper is alive, Misunderstandings, Protective Hal Jordan, Self-Esteem Issues, Star Sapphire Jason Todd, and she wants another dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22893364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Do_not_careissa/pseuds/Do_not_careissa
Summary: Frustration had been building in Jason for a while now. Frustration at himself, at his situation, and at the ring that he still could not use. He’d been a Sapphire for months now, and yet no matter what he did he still couldn’t use his ring's power. Even with the help of Carol Ferris, the other Star Sapphire of Earth, he couldn't seem to make any progress. When all seems pointless, Carol might just have a solution, one that involves some familiar faces.
Relationships: Carol Ferris & Hal Jordan, Guy Gardner & Hal Jordan, Hal Jordan & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Carol Ferris, Jason Todd & Guy Gardner
Series: Star Sapphire Jason [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1632121
Comments: 42
Kudos: 589





	Learning to Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> Just as a heads up, there is a point in this where Hal and Jason discuss their Canon deaths and the follow up assumptions other characters have made in regards to Jason's.  
> Characters' ages  
> Jason: 23  
> Carol: 39  
> Hal: 38  
> Guy: early-mid thirties  
> Kyle: 28

The world was quiet around him. No, quiet wasn’t the right word. It was peaceful. The humm of the nearby crystals put him at ease, the sounds of creatures scurrying around, the murmur of others talking in the distance. It was all so relaxing. This sort of thing would always calm him down, it would make any assignment, task, or case a walk in the park. So why couldn’t he do this one simple task right now?

“It’s not working,” Jason grumbled as he lowered his hand. “Again.”

Carol looked back at him with sympathy. Her small construct disappeared beside her. “It’s alright.”

“But it’s not.”

It had been nearly two weeks since Carol Ferris had arrived on Zamaron and began working with him. Two weeks plus the three and a half months he’d spent before that with no progress. He couldn’t make a construct, couldn’t fly, couldn’t summon energy, nothing. He’d been on the planet for four months, wore the ring of a Star Sapphire, had been chosen to be one, yet he couldn’t seem to do even the most basic of tasks. 

He could feel the energy in the ring. He could feel it pulsing through him almost constantly. So why couldn’t he do anything with it? Why was he given a ring if he wouldn’t be able to use it?

Carol pulled his attention back to her with a hand on his shoulder. “Jason, it’s alright to struggle with this. Honestly, from everything you’ve told me I’d be surprised if you didn’t.”

He stared at her long and hard before he sighed. He focused on the air leaving him before looking back to her. “It’s been four months and I still can’t do anything. Why do I have this thing?” He waved his hand around as he glared at the ring on his finger. “I’m obviously not good enough to use it.”

“That’s not true.” She led him towards the edge of the open space they were occupying, a bench waiting for them. She sat down and patted the spot beside her. Once he sat down she continued. “I’m going to be frank Jason. I don’t know why the ring chose you, not entirely anyway. I’ve only known you for a little over a week now, but honestly? If you’re worried that you aren’t worthy of that ring you’ve got another thing coming. You were chosen based on your own merits and what you are capable of, on what’s in your heart.” She paused, worried at her lip for a moment, then finished sarcastically, “Unlike most of us.”

“What do you mean?” He remembered what he’d heard of the Star Sapphires from way back when he’d been Robin, how focused they were on the Green Lanterns. Bruce and the rest of the League had never bothered to really explain anything to him. Maybe he’d finally get some answers now.

“Originally the power of the Star Sapphires wasn’t nearly as benevolent as it is now. When you became one of us, you were given a choice right? You could have refused if you had wanted to?” He nodded. “I didn’t get that option, not originally, and neither did most other Sapphires.”

“So why did it choose you then?”

Carol blew out a breath, her hair lifting from where a strand had fallen in her face. “You, Jason, were chosen based off of yourself and your own emotions. The other corps do the same, each to their own extent obviously. For me? It was because I was the girlfriend of Hal freaking Jordan.”

He stared dumbfounded as she leaned back. That made no sense. Chosen because of who you were seeing? Who you were sleeping with? That didn’t sound good. Hell, it sounded like a train wreck waiting to happen.

“And then,” she continued in a bored tone, “the thing would take over my mind, right? It wanted me to lure Hal here, didn’t matter how it happened. This was back when Sapphires were encasing their planet’s Green Lanterns in crystal. But that’s a story for another day.”

“Come on you can’t just stop there! I need to hear how you whooped Jordan’s ass,” he said as he finally smiled. “There’s no way he beat you, not without help.”

“Later, later,” she laughed. “But all that to say, you’re part of a new generation of Star Sapphires. It’s going to be a struggle for you and everyone that comes after. Other corps put their members through training like the Green Lanterns, or through trials like the Blues. With us, we’ve never had a need for that. As soon as you became a Sapphire you were taken out of the driver seat. You had no real control. You knew what was happening but your mind was so warped by the Sapphire’s control that it didn’t matter.”

He leaned back as he looked towards the sky. It all made sense in a sad sort of way. It explained why there weren’t any teachers or trainers in their ranks. It also explained why there were so few Sapphires now, especially when compared to the number of Green Lanterns. Once given their free will back most of the Sapphires likely shed their rings and power and returned to their home worlds. Really, the entire thing reminded him way too much of his time fighting the Lazarus Pits’ control.

He could only remember bits and pieces before he’d been thrown in the green waters. To make it worse, there were just as many missing pieces in his memory from the year after he’d come out. It was like the Pit had flowed into him, merged with him, and taken over. There were so many things he’d done after he’d come out of those green waters, so many things he’d believed, that looking back on it now he always wondered if that had really been him or if it was the Pit influencing him or even taking control. And that was just the things he could remember. As for what he couldn't? He had no real way of finding out what had happened at that point.

“So now, for you…?” He didn’t know how to ask it, how she kept control even after that horrible _thing_ had been expelled.

“Honestly? In some ways now that the power isn’t tied to Hal I find it harder to control. But then in other ways it’s easier. The love that gives us our power is no longer based on obsession and wanting to possess another person. It’s not based on controlling another person. I just feel love and affection and all the things that come from that and that’s where my power comes from.”

“So from mania to a healthier version of love then.”

“Yes, exactly.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes as they watched the world around them. A nice breeze came through the space, weaving through their hair as it went. How did she manage to fly with it so long and loose he wondered.

Without warning her voice cut through the quiet. “What are you good at?”

“What do you mean?”

“Something that you’re good at, something that you know you do really well. For me it’s run my company and fly planes. What about you?”

He thought about it for a moment, wracking his brain for anything he could think of. Something he was good at, something he did well. Images flashed through his mind, a mobster taken down, a would-be mugger set right, teeth sent flying, kneecaps shattered, arms broken. Years upon years of images came to him. It was the only thing he could think of, the only thing he could imagine anyone saying he was good at.

“Fighting,” he answered. “I’m good at fighting.”

Carol nodded and gestured for him to continue.

“It’s all I’ve ever done. I fought as a vigilante trying to stop crime. Before that I fought as a sidekick doing the same. I fought to survive while living on the streets...I fought my way out of my own grave. I somehow fought while catatonic. I’ve been doing it for so long it’s like it’s second nature at this point.”

“That’s a good start,” she praised. “Ghia’ta and Galia told me you’re good at learning languages too, says you can already talk with Galia in her native language a little.”

“I suppose so. It’s just, language is interesting you know? It’s how we communicate with each other. Sure the ring will translate for me but if I can talk to someone using their own language that’s just...I don’t know.”

“It means more.”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm.” She leaned back, an idea forming as she watched him. “So we know you’re good at fighting and language.”

“Yeah, why? What are you thinking?”

“Maybe we’ve been teaching you wrong.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” he jumped to her defense. “You and everyone are doing wonderful, I just can’t-”

“And I’d say that’s the other major issue here.” She pushed herself up from the bench to float in the air. “You have horrible self esteem.” 

“Excuse me?” He stood up to follow her as she floated away.

“The power we wield is based on love Jason, but you have none for yourself. You don’t really think you’re any good at all, do you?”

The question hit home as they made their way through a nearby courtyard. He saw what she was saying, could tell where she was coming from, it made sense. But with everything he’d done, everything that had happened in his life, how could anyone call him good? Good people weren't raised on the streets, they weren't caught jacking tires. It wasn't a question of if a good person was good or not, it was always the other way around. Even when he was fighting supervillains, when he worked alongside heroes like Wonder Woman and Superman he was never considered good enough to be a hero. No, he was an anti-hero, he _could_ be good but chances were he wasn’t, he was the opposite. At best he was considered neutral.

Let’s be real here, there’s a reason he, Roy, and Kori called themselves the Outlaws.

She stopped near a fountain where she let herself continue to float so they were looking right at each other. “Jason, our power is love. How can you hope to control the powers of that emotion if you can’t even begin to accept yourself?”

“But I-” he cut himself off, though not quickly enough for her not to notice the slip up.

“Who is it? Who did you think of just now?”

He stopped to take a few breaths, eyes down turned as he ran the words through his head. After a moment he looked up and let himself answer. “Roy and Kori, they’re honestly the best thing to ever happen to me. And Lian, Roy’s daughter, they’re three of the most amazing people I’ve ever met and if anything happened to any of them..." He stopped, realization dawning. "God, I left without telling anyone. They’re probably worried sick. Yeah, Kori wasn’t on Earth then but fuck man I’m the worst.”

Carol tilted her head, eyes sharp as she studied him. He could feel the ring on his finger, could feel its energy running through him as he forced himself to continue.

“The kids down in the Narrows, the Bowery, Crime Alley, all of them. Even with everything they all deal with, all the poverty and crime that’s around them, they’re still so good. Heh, they started giving me nicknames you know. Little Dee’s favorite so far is Papa Rojo. Angel’s another popular one for some reason, maybe because I usually come from the rooftops, I don't know.”

He paused again, felt the heat coming off his face. His ears must have been so red. He scratched the back of his neck, the pulsing of his racing heart reflected in his ring. He was babbling, he knew it plain as day, but he just couldn’t stop right now.

“Alfred. He’s probably the closest thing I’ve had to an actual good parental figure. Cass, Duke, the other bats. We've spent so long fighting and even now that I’m “one of them” again we still, but I just, I’d give up everything for any of them, but I’m not sure any of them would ever do the same.” 

Carol watched him with her deep violet tinted eyes as she took him in. A strange deep seated and irrational fear tried to take hold. Age old fears of his own emotions, of being mocked and berated and looked down upon for them. The thought tried to make its way into his head, the idea of her realizing how weak he was, of her abandoning him and his training and leaving him alone once again. They were irrational, stupid thoughts, that fear made no sense, he knew that. Carol would never berate him for these feelings, none of the Sapphires would, but that fear still plagued him, whispering things to him he had no right to hear.

Carol lifted his chin, eyes hard and firm as she made him look back up at her. “Then do it for them. For Roy and Kori, for Lian and Dee and the other kids who look up to you, for Alfred and the bats. You need to learn to accept and love yourself so you can love all of them like you want to, so they can see it and finally understand. You're here for a reason, perhaps that reason is yourself.”

He stared at her, eyes wide and glowing a bright violet as he processed what she said. He snapped his mouth shut as determination coursed through him. “How?”

* * *

Warriors Bar was always deserted around lunchtime. Well, lunchtime on Earth. Sometimes there would be the odd patron or two, a Lantern just getting off duty who needed a chance to unwind with good food and better alcohol. For Hal? He liked the company.

Well, that and the cheese fries. How a food could be that heavenly he’d never know. Of course, there was always the question of how Guy and Kyle managed to get everything from Earth to OA without contamination, but he couldn’t bring himself care. Good food was good fucking food, didn’t matter where it came from.

“Sheesh, slow down Jordan. Last thing we need is you choking on your own finger,” Guy chided. “You can breathe you know. They aren’t gonna disappear.” 

“Sheys shou,” he answered, cheese stringing from his lip.

“Man, can you believe the kind of slob we work with?” Guy asked Kyle as he sat down.

He stared at Hal for a moment, eyebrows drawn together in a pained expression before turning back to Guy. “You’ve been working with him longer than me. I figured you’d be used to him by now.”

“Trust me kid,” Guy said as he threw an arm around his shoulder. “You never get used to _that_.”

Hal glared as he finally slowed down. “The hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Like you don’t already know,” he joked back, grin stretching across his face. Kyle shook his head before he dug into his own food. 

They ate in companionable silence with their usual questions of the goings on on Earth. Hal had returned from their homeplanet a week ago, but the small group’s combined duties had kept them separated. The topic of sports came and went quickly. The bar’s access to a few of Earth’s cable channels had allowed Guy and Kyle to see a few games, but definitely not all the ones they wanted. It was soon followed by family visits, art exhibitions, and somehow an update on Earth’s shitty weather.

“I’m just saying, it’s like whoever decided on Earth’s weather couldn’t make up their mind on what it would be but by damn whatever they got it would be as much as possible,” Hal groaned as he threw his head back dramatically. “It started snowing like a week before I left and let me tell you, it’s pretty fucking obvious Hell isn’t on fire, it’s coated in snow and ice.”

Guy’s laughter rang throughout the bar, deep and boisterous as he laughed at Hal. Kyle’s, while not as loud, still rang out before a look of contemplation took over his visage.

“Hmm, Hal?” he asked, drawing the other two’s attention. “Don’t you live in Coast City? You aren’t gonna have snow there.” He tapped his cheek for a moment in thought.

“Yeah hotshot,” Guy goaded. Suddenly, a look of glee took over as his smirk turned to something else. “Ooh, I think I know what you were up to.”

“No no no you do not. I swear if you even start this shit again Guy.”

“Sounds to me like someone was in _Gotham_ ,” he sing songed. “You and the bat finally get that quality time you’ve always wanted?”

Hal sputtered as Guy teased, his face reddening enough to match the other’s hair. “What, I, no, what are you even-”

“No no, that can’t be it Guy,” Kyle butted in, his voice sympathetic before turning his own shit eating grin on Hal. “Last I checked his tastes were much _faster_.”

“Good point, and blondes do have more fun from what I’ve heard if you know what I mean. How could I forget about that?”

Hal threw his thoroughly red face into his hands. “You guys are the worst.”

Kyle patted his head from across the table as he and Guy finally calmed down. “Aw, we love you too Hally Bear.”

Guy barked out another laugh as Hal looked at Kyle dumbfounded. “Please never call me that again.”

Kyle shrugged. “No promises.”

“Anyway,” Guy waved his hand. “All jokes aside, where were you?”

Hal took a long pause before dropping his head down again. “Gotham.”

Guy stared in confusion as Kyle struggled not to laugh again. “Okay, why?”

“You know how Spooky has like way too many kids?”

“Please tell me you weren’t babysitting. I might lose my shit again if you tell me you were babysitting the little wannabe-terror Baby Bat,” Guy begged.

“No no, not even close. One of ‘em is missing apparently.”

“Which one,” he asked, all signs off his earlier joking absent.

“The one with the red? Oh, what was his name? The one with the guns and the jacket. Umm, James? John? Johnson?”

“Jason,” Kyle said, firm and unquestioning.

“Yeah, that one. So anyway, Bats being the possessive weirdo he is wasted nearly three freaking months looking for him on his own. Apparently he didn’t think it might be important to tell anyone in the League for that entire time. Don’t know if he just thought the guy would appear out of nowhere if he wished hard enough or if his obsession with keeping everyone out of Gotham did him in this time.”

“That would explain why he was so quiet during the meeting last month,” Guy said as he scratched his chin. “Well, more quiet than usual. Said next to nothing for the entire thing.”

“So you were in Gotham to try and find Jason then?” Kyle asked, an odd note in his voice that Hal chose to ignore.

“That and to cover some of their patrols. Diana’s orders and all. Bats and co have to take a few days off and rest every week and go talk to someone ‘til we find this guy.”

“Please tell me you let John know before he left?”Guy pleaded. “The man deserves better than to be dropped into that without warning.”

“Yeah yeah, as much as I could anyway.” Hal looked to Kyle who was chewing at his lip. “You okay over there?”

Realizing what he was doing Kyle released his lip. “Yeah I’m good, just thinking is all.”

Guy turned to look at their youngest member. “Didn’t you and Jason work together at some point or another?”

“It was...complicated. I haven't really seen him then.”

Guy’s confused retort was cut off as the front door to the bar opened. He patted Kyle’s arm, telling him they’d continue the conversation later, before they turned to the door. Kilowog entered the bar and looked around before laying his eyes on the trio in the corner. The Lantern made his way over before dropping down next to Hal, trapping the other’s leg in the process. He wore a triumphant grin as Hal struggled to pull his limb free. 

“Someone seems happy,” Hal grouched once he was free.

“Seems more excited to me,” Guy argued, his eyes shifting to check on Kyle who remained quiet.

“Well poozers, I just got a lovely invitation,” he boasted. “I was wondering if any of you would be up to join me.”

“An invite to what? A hot dog eating competition?” Hal joked before receiving his usual kick under the table. 

“Ha ha. No, to Zamaron actually.”

Hal’s drink spewed from his mouth as he did a spit take. Kyle and Guy both looked surprised, though Kyle looked more disgusted at realizing Hal’s beer just went on his hands. Meanwhile, Guy’s look of surprise turned downright dirty. 

“Did someone get a _special call_ from his lady friend?”

Kilowog threw back his massive head as he cackled. “No actually, it was this guy’s girlfriend,” he said as he pushed Hal.

“Ex,” Kyle and Hal interjected together.

“-who invited me. Needs some help training their rookie. And I figure, why not grab a few of you poozers to take with me.”

“Carol’s training someone?” Kyle asked.

“It’s probably the new guy from Earth right? Maybe that’s why she’s there,” Hal offered.

“Anyway,” Kilowog interrupted. “Who wants to go with me? Technically I’m saying it’s a mission to establish and assist our allies in that sector so unless there’s some universe ending emergency, the Guardians will let you go with me. I already got my approval.”

“Well, that’ll make it easier for us I suppose.”

“That sounds nice and all,” Guy started, “But who’s gonna run the bar and train the rookies here if both me and Kyle are gone?”

“Hmm,” Hal agreed.

Kyle sighed. “I’ll stay behind. I’ve got leave in a few weeks anyway.”

“You sure?” Guy asked. “I can stay if you want to go.”

“No no, I’m good.”

“Okay. Well I guess I’m in. Jordan?”

Hal shrugged. “Eh, why not? I didn’t get to see Carol while I was on Earth anyway.”

“Please, Hal, whatever you do promise me one thing,” Kyle begged as he leaned across the table. “For the love of god, don’t do your usual flirting will I won’t I bullshit. Carol deserves better than that your on-off crap.”

“Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing,” Guy said as he dragged Kyle to his side. “I’ll keep my eyes on him.”

“Seriously you guys? I’m not that bad.”

“Seriously Hal? Nine times out of ten, yes you totally are.”

Hal massaged his temple. It was only one time! Okay, maybe it was more than once, but come on! It wasn’t that bad.

“When do we head out?” Guy asked as he ignored Hal’s internal debate.

“Tomorrow. Need to clear you two to come with me but after that we’re good to go.”

“Perfect.” Guy turned to Kyle. “Well, that gives us a few hours. Let’s see what I gotta do before I leave ya.” The two left for the back of the bar, taking inventory as they went along.

Kilowog left, leaving Hal still seated in the booth. It wouldn’t be that bad right? Yeah he and Carol had had a thing in the past but they had moved way past that. He wouldn’t jeopardize their current relationship by trying anything. No, everything would be fine. This was practically a vacation. He just had to relax, take everything nice and slow, and he’d be alright.

* * *

Everything was, in fact, not alright.

The minute the three of them had set down on Zamaron Hal had gotten a strange feeling in his gut. Something pricked at the back of his mind telling him that something was going to happen, something big, possibly something bad. He tried to brush the feeling off, attributing his unease to what had happened the first time he’d come to the planet. Considering the whole almost encased in crystals for the rest of his life thing, he’d be surprised if he didn’t get the heebie jeebies from just setting foot on the planet.

So he racked up the feeling to that and continued on his way. They went to what could only be called a square, the open area reminding him of the few trips he’d taken to New York City with his family back in the day. He saw Carol and Ghia’ta in the distance with a third Sapphire. He moved to wave before he stopped dead in his tracks. He felt the color drain from his face as he got a better look at the third figure, took in the face he and the League had gone over for hours back on Earth. 

It was Jason Todd.

Batman’s missing son was here, on Zamaron, was wearing the ring of a Star Sapphire and the colors to match.

“No no no no no fuck _fuck_ _no_ that’s not possible.” Hal didn’t realize he was talking until Guy grabbed his shoulder and turned him around. Kilowog continued on ahead of them as Guy took in Hal’s panicked state.

“Buddy, you okay in there?”

“Am I okay?” His voice was breathless as he asked the question. It soon became near hysterical as he continued speaking. “Am I _okay_ ? No no fuck no Guy. Do you realize who that is? Whose kid that is? Fuck man. Batman is going to kill us, do you understand?” He grabbed him by his arms, shaking him as he begged for understanding. “We are going to die at the hands of a billionaire who claims not to kill like this is _The Purge_ or something. No, like this is _Saw._ He is absolutely the kinda weirdo who’d make you cut off your own foot to survive. And if we don’t he’ll be all “I gave you the means of escape, you killed yourself” shit. He is going to fucking murder us Guy. The hell you think he’s gonna say when we tell him we found his kid _in space_? Not good things man!”

Guy raised an eyebrow, a bored expression on his face as he watched his partner. “Hal,” he said as he removed himself from his grasp and lightly slapped the other’s cheek. “When’s your next leave scheduled for?”

“In like, three months?”

“And mine isn’t for another two. So just calm down. The big bad Batman can’t get you up here Mr. Man-Without-Fear.”

“But-”

“Shh shh, no buts, we’re not here for buts. Kilowog said they asked him to come here to help train their rookie. From the looks of it, it’s him. Focus on him, not his spooky, scary old man, yeah?” He patted his arms before leading them to the group. 

“Took you ladies long enough,” Carol chided once they got close. “You two busy comparing ring sizes or something over there?”

“Hal’s just having an existential crisis again.”

“Ah, that’s right. Temperature’s getting a bit cold back home again, isn’t it?”

Hal huffed at the teasing. He crossed his arms as he pouted at the two.

“Anyway, since you two are here there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” She led them away from the group. Behind them Kilowog and Jason were talking as Ghia’ta left for her duties. Pretty soon the Green Lantern would try to test the Sapphire on his current abilities, whatever they may be.

They stopped at the edge of the square in a patch of shadow offered by a nearby building. They were far enough away that the others wouldn’t hear them, but they were close enough that they could see whatever they were doing.

“How long’s he been here?” Guy asked in an effort to break the ice.

“Four months,” she answered, grimacing as she watched. “Four months and the poor kid can’t use his ring to do anything more than take that jacket off.”

“Shit,”Hal muttered. If he’d been on Zamaron for four months, that would explain the light the bats had talked about, the one that appeared when he disappeared. 

“Any ideas why he’s struggling?” Guy continued. In the distance they could see green constructs being thrown at Jason only for him to evade and jump over them all. “He’s been a vigilante back on Earth for years, I’d think this would be second nature to him.”

“That’s the thing,” she said as she leaned against a support pillar. “If he had been chosen to be a Green Lantern I doubt he’d be struggling this much.”

“Then what is it?” Hal asked. “What could really be stopping him from using his ring’s power?”

“Do you remember when Jessica got her ring?” she asked after a pause. “How she struggled to believe she was worthy of it? How that fear and self-doubt kept her from achieving her full potential back then?”

“You think it’s up here then,” Guy said, tapping his temple.

“It’s not that he lacks love. If anything he has it in abundance. I can practically feel it charge the air when he’s around. He just…”

“I think I get what you’re saying,” Guy said. Hal stared at him, not entirely sure what was happening. “You know how when we lose our willpower our rings just stop? We stop believing in ourselves our rings stop believing in us too. It’s a multi-step process. But you can’t get through step two if you don’t finish step one.”

“Then what the hell is his step one?”

“Himself,” Carol and Guy answered together.

“With us it’s will, belief, with the Sapphires it’s love. Don’t believe in yourself, you get no power. So for the Sapphires…”

Hal thought back to everything he’d been told, to anything and everything related to Jason Todd, the Red Hood. He could remember meeting the kid when he was Robin, finding out how Bruce had met and adopted him, all the implications of what had come before that. The list of things the kid had done mixed with all the things done to him. Everything suddenly clicked into place.

“Kid’s got an uphill battle,” he said. Understatement of the century Jordan.

“My thoughts exactly,” she agreed.

They continued to watch as Kilowog kept throwing things at Jason, the constructs getting bigger and faster as time went on. Jason evaded every single one as expected. Hal hummed in surprise as he somehow managed to flip over Kilowog and kick him in the head before landing and twisting away. Guy whistled in approval.

“Hey Guy?” Hal called as an idea struck him.

“What now Jordan? This is getting good.”

“You know how the Guardians _say_ we can’t work with other corps but then they make exceptions just because?”

“Keep talking.”

Hal shrugged as he turned back to match. “Kid’s got experience out the ass. Fighting, detective work, all that bat shit. Now I’m not saying it’ll fix everything but…”

“It’d give the kid a clear goal,” he agreed, his own shoulders rising in a shrug.

“Exactly.”

“Is it too late to mention that Queen Aga’po has considered something similar for other Sapphires? At least in regards to certain sectors and planets,” Carol offered. "Not all Sapphires come from peace loving societies you know."

“Perfect,” Hal clapped his hands together. “We’ve got a plan. 

“But first, the kid needs to learn to control the ring’s power,”Guy added. “Can’t really convince the smurfs to give him a shot otherwise.”

“Baby steps Guy, baby steps.”

They heard a yell and all looked up in time to see Kilowog land on his back.

“Did he just?”

“Yup.”

“Fan-fucking-tastic.” Guy started walking towards the group, leaving Hal and Carol behind.

“The hell do you think you’re doing?” Hal demanded.

“Joining the fun.”

* * *

Seeing Hal Jordan and Guy Gardner really shouldn’t have been that surprising. He was in space after all and he was now a Star Sapphire. The chances of him running into either of them was already pretty high. Take into account _all_ of the Green Lanterns of Earth and he was kind of surprised he hadn’t seen any of them before that moment.

They’d come with another Green Lantern, Kilowog Carol had introduced him as. Now this one, this was a big guy. Sure Galia and Queen Aga’po were taller than him but neither quite towered over him the way Kilowog did. With the alien’s size it was kind of like being faced with Killer Croc again. Hell, this guy might actually be a few inches taller.

“So you’re the new guy,” Kilowog said after Carol introduced them. He could still see the other two Lanterns out of the corner of his eye, could just make out what looked like panic on Hal’s face.

“That would be me,” he answered, taking the offered hand to give it a shake. 

“Tell me, what can you do?”

“Uh, like overall? Or with the ring?”

“Let’s start with the ring.”

Jason held his hand up in a fist, his lip pulled tight as he shrugged.

“Alright then.” Kilowog sounded surprised. He sent a questioning look to Carol as she slipped away with the other lanterns.

“I can fight,” Jason offered. “Hand to hand, weapons, long range. Been doing it since I was a kid.”

He laughed long and hard at his statement. “Trust me, with how old all you humans are you’re all kids to me.” He backed up a few paces before bracing himself. “Let’s see what you got Poozer.”

Small green constructs went flying towards him, all slow enough to evade without much worry. More were sent his way once those were past, getting larger and faster the longer time went on. 

As he continued to side step and jump over the obstacles he came to realize the other was trying to get him to create a shield or some kind of barrier. As a construct came barreling towards him he tried to picture it, tried to pull up a shield in his mind only to narrowly miss getting hit with the construct.

He repeated the action. He did it over and over all with the same result. Frustration built as he continued to fail in the self-appointed task. 

His vision narrowed. He saw an opening. Twist, turn, flip, extend, land. He spun away from Kilowog as the other rubbed his head in disbelief. Jason’ll give it to him, his head’s as thick as it looks.

Kilowog smirked, more constructs appearing around them. “Now this is getting interesting. Let’s go rookie.”

They continued their dance, hand to hand combat now added in as they went. Kilowog would throw something, Jason would evade, throw, evade, throw, evade, punch punch kick. It was a familiar song and dance for him, one as old as he was. Forged and reshaped through Gotham’s streets, in the hands of the world’s most powerful individuals, with blood and pain and a deep seated yearning for more. It was pure instinct. 

A smile ripped its way across his face alongside a thrill that ran through him as he got lost in the fight. It wasn’t real, not in the ways that counted, but it was real enough.

Something ran through him, a familiar pang in his chest as he jumped behind Kilowog before twisting and throwing the behemoth.

Kilowog dropped like a brick, not quite fast enough to construct a softer landing. He knew how crazy he looked in the moment, eyes wide and mouth stretched across his face as his breaths came in short and deep. 

Kilowog pushed himself up, surprise written across his face as he looked back at Jason. Now this? This was exciting.

He felt a presence at his back before the punch landed. He twisted with the force, pulling a leg in only to push it back out. His kick was met with a shield before Guy went for another punch. 

Each punch was returned, every kick and construct sent right back. Guy didn’t hold back, not as much as Kilowog had anyway. The red head’s eyes glowed with exhilaration just as Jason’s did.

Soon an attack came that he couldn’t avoid, couldn’t grab and counter. He raised his arms to block, already twisting for another attack, when violet light erupted across his vision. Guy’s construct shattered against the shield, the green light fading as Jason stared in surprise. 

Guy heaved a few breaths, mouth hanging open in a loose grin as he breathed out a laugh. “There ya go. Knew you could do it kid.”

The shield remained as Jason continued to stare at it in complete and utter bewilderment. 

“Gonna be honest, I wasn’t expecting that.” His head snapped to the side, finding Hal as the source of the voice. The shield cracked, then faded in seconds. Jason watched as it disappeared, a grimace pulling at his face.

He heard more than saw Carol smack Hal upside the head as she berated him for breaking his concentration. He whined an apology as she turned back to Jason and Guy.

“Good work,” she said as she laid a hand on his shoulder. “I could see the energy flowing through you, I could _feel_ it from across the field. And you even made a shield, a construct!” She waved at the empty air before him. “That’s amazing progress.”

Hal opened his mouth to say something only to receive an elbow to the side.

“But I didn’t…” he trailed off, the adrenaline flowing out of his system.

“Didn’t what?”

“Think. I didn’t think of a shield or want one, it just…” he waved his arms, “happened.”

Carol hummed as she ran through her thoughts. Hal spoke up, swiftly avoiding the follow up elbow.

“Yeah, well, you weren’t thinking when you were fighting Guy or Kilowog were you? Didn’t think so,” Hal said before Jason could respond.

“How long you been doing this? Fighting, taking out people three times your size?” Guy nodded towards Kilowog who had finally made it back to their group.

“Like professionally?”

He flipped his hand around. “At all.”

He ran through the numbers as he tried counting up the years. Do you count the few months he was dead? The months spent in a coma in the hospital? The year he’d been catatonic? Hell, do those even count towards his age? Shit.

“Um, at least ten?” He offered with a shrug.

“Ten?” Kilowog asked. “Ten what?”

“Earth years,” Guy answered.

“What? But he only looks, he’s practically a baby now! What do you mean he’s been doing this for ten of your years?!”

“Anyway,” Guy interrupted before turning back to Jason. “Why do you seem so unsure about that number anyway? First fight’s not exactly something you just forget.”

“Sorry, it’s just...there’s a few years that I’m not sure about.”

Guy clapped him on the shoulder before dragging him close. “It’s alright, you can tell us later,” he offered, clearly aware of Jason's discomfort. He relaxed into the hold, relieved at not having to explain himself. “But first, that fight there? Took a lot outta me. I am famished!” he announced. “Got any good food around here?”

“Good food?” Carol laughed. “You have the Sapphires’ best cook literally in your grasp.”

“Oh really now?”

“I don’t know how he does it. He’ll just take whatever he finds, doesn’t matter if he knows what it is, and boom, greatest meal you’ll have for the next month.”

Jason could feel the heat rushing to his face as they headed inside. It was just food, it wasn’t that hard.

* * *

Some things never changed. Carol being right? Absolutely one of them.

Hal didn’t know if he should eat his food or cry over it after he’d taken his first bite. He had no idea what he was eating, couldn’t even guess what alien ingredients had gone together to make this masterpiece but by god it was delicious.

At some point Kilowog had left to catch up with Galia, though Hal had to wonder how he expected to find her without help. Carol had left soon after, saying she had to update Ghia’ta on their progress. That left Hal with Guy and Jason in the small kitchen like space.

“I don’t know how you did this,” Guy said to the younger man. “But I’m about to put you to work at my bar. Could use a good cook like you.”

Jason rubbed his neck again, ducking his head at the praise. When was the last time someone had complimented this kid? 

“It’s not that hard. Just a bit of trial and error is all.”

“Yeah well, between Kyle and this numbskull you’re bound to get more errors in that equation,” Hal joked as he shoved his fellow Lantern.

“Oh, like you aren’t in there nearly every day. Get outta here with that lying bullshit” Guy pushed back. 

“Wasn’t saying I don’t, but if you two could give me something half as good as this I’d be in there every damn hour.” He turned back to Jason, forked lifted. “Seriously kid, good job.”

“Um, thanks.”

Okay, how was this one of Mr. I-shit-out-confidence-because-I’m-Batman’s kids? He knew he had the right Jason in front of him, he’d seen enough images of the kid to recognize him on sight. There was no way he was mistaking who the guy was. Although, the white patch of hair at his forehead was new. There wasn’t any hair dye on Zamaron and Hal couldn’t imagine the kid brought a bleaching kit with him. So was this his natural color maybe? And the pure black he’d seen in the pictures, had that been dyed?

Either way, this was definitely Spooky’s Jason. But something just wasn’t...right.

Everything he’d been told did not match up with the twenty-something in front of him. Deadly, confident, impulsive, had a knack for finding trouble and a penchant for violence and anger. The young man before him didn’t seem to be any of that, deadly maybe but that was mostly because he was a bat who had gotten some extra tutoring. Sure, Hal knew the whole “don’t judge a book by its cover” shtick, but from the way everyone had talked he would’ve expected to find someone a bit more...explosive.

Question was, did Bats know he was spreading false information about his son, or did he actually believe all that? Was it some kind of misunderstanding or did Jason put on an act around his family? One he didn’t feel the need to continue here? Or was this the act? He doubted it but still.

The entire situation was a giant headache.

Add in the scars the kid had, way more numerous than his brothers, and it got even worse. Hal could remember what little he’d been told years ago when meeting the newly minted Robin, could remember seeing a few scars on him even back then, but it didn’t seem quite this extreme. And a lot of those scars he couldn’t remember seeing before, including the one on his chest, the one that Hal could hardly see but looked like a…

Shit.

“So, how long you had the ring?” Guy’s question drug Hal out of his spiraling thoughts. That was...something they’d need to talk about, wasn’t it? Something _he’d_ have to talk about and dig up his long buried demons. At least he had something in common with the kid he supposed, even if that something absolutely sucked.

How had he forgotten what happened to this kid? How had _any_ of them forgotten what happened to him?

“Four months. I came here when I got the ring.”

“And you haven’t been able to do anything with it? For four months?”

“Is that why you haven’t changed your suit to something with more…” Hal gestured awkwardly to his chest, “coverage.”

Guy kicked him under the table, glaring at him while Jason just looked to be thinking. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before Guy cut in.

“Ye don’t have to answer if you don’t want to kid. It’s completely alright. Jordan here doesn’t understand the concept of respecting some people’s decisions.” He gave Hal a pointed look.

“No no, it’s okay,” Jason defended. “It’s just not something I’ve thought about recently.” He paused for a moment to duck his head, eyes shooting away from them. “I mean sure, I was kind of self-conscious about it for the first few weeks but I just focused on other things you know?”

“And now?”

“I’m pretty okay with it. No one looks at me funny or anything. If anything they’re still more surprised at the whole man thing more than the outfit. Between that and how different everyone is here it’s kind of hard to compare myself to anyone. I mean, back on Earth I don’t think I would have let myself leave my apartment looking like this, but here it’s not so bad.”

“And with us here?”

He looked down to the table as a sigh escaped him. “It’s like my brain just wants to keep comparing us no matter what I do. I don’t want to, but it just keeps happening.”

“Let me give you some good ole Guy advice yeah? It’s okay to be a bit self conscious, it means you’re aware of yourself and what kind of image you’re projecting. Sometimes you’ll get those small things that you wanna work on, build a bit more muscle, lose a little weight, gain some, the usual stuff right? Problem comes when you are constantly comparing yourself to everyone else rather than just seeing them and yourself as people. You need to be able to see everything about yourself, not just your perceived flaws. Self acceptance is a bitch, I know, but sometimes you're biggest obstacle is yourself.”

“Damn Guy, you’re sounding like a shrink over here,” Hal observed.

“Meh, I’ve got a degree laying around here somewhere,” Guy responded with a smirk.

“Uh, excuse me what-?”

“Anyway, that make sense?” At Jason’s nod he continued. “And for your suit, don’t feel like you have to change it just because there’ll be some prude who can’t handle a little bit of skin. This isn’t high school, this is the real world. But don’t feel like you have to keep it this way just because it’s what you were handed. You do what you want with it. Kyle’s changed his suit I don’t know how many times while Hal’s hardly changed at all. Do whatever’s best for you. Haters gonna hate and all that, right?”

“I can’t believe you just said that,” Hal groaned as he covered his face.

“And I can’t believe _you’re_ the prude here.”

“No! I just...don’t think I’d be comfortable with so much of my chest exposed is all,” he explained in a rush.

“Of course you wouldn’t, you clearly don’t have the cleavage for it.”

“And you do?” His voice had practically become hysterical by that point. There was no way of knowing what exactly Guy would say, let alone what he would do.

Guy did not disappoint as his suit shifted, his green jacket opening just enough to show the new opening in the black beneath. “Sounds to me like someone’s jealous, wouldn’t you agree kid?” He pulled Jason to his side, arm wrapped around his shoulder. Jason was laughing, not loud and boisterous like his size would suggest, but he was definitely laughing. It seemed like his eyes got brighter, their new violet hue glowing as he laughed at the two of them. 

Yeah Bats was definitely wrong about this kid.

* * *

“So, we know you can tap into your ring’s power. We just need to figure out how.”

They were outside again, this time just him and Jason, in yet another open space. The sky was beginning to set behind them, orange shifting to reds, purples, and blues. Guy had gone off to find Carol after saying it was Hal’s turn with him. 

“Teach him to fly,” he’d said. “If anyone’s gonna do it it’ll be the pilot.” Never mind that Carol was too but Hal didn’t really feel that strongly against the idea. Kid had been surrounded by people for hours now, dropping down to only one might do him some good.

“Remember anything from when you constructed that shield earlier? Thoughts, feelings, sensations, anything like that?”

Jason stared into the distance, eyebrows creased as he sifted through the events earlier that day. “I wasn’t thinking, I just let myself get lost in the moves I guess?” It came out sounding like a question. “You know how a dancer just knows how to move? Even if the dance is improvised and they’ve never heard the song before, they don’t have to think about their next move, they just do it.”

“Hmm, interesting.” And it honestly was. It was basically the opposite of everything he’d known as a Lantern. He was used to willing things into existence, of consciously thinking about it. But then again, didn’t Supes say he was always suppressing his powers? That he held them back constantly? And Barry was always going fast, he had to actually stop and think to slow down to normal human levels. Maybe the issue wasn’t that he needed to push the power out, but rather he needed to pull the barriers around it down.

“How were you feeling during the fight? Scared? Anxious? Angry?”

“Calm,” he answered. “Relaxed, but also excited.”

“So you were enjoying it.”

“I was loving it.”

Hal tapped his chin as he thought. How to do this? How to focus on the feeling of flying rather than the act of flying?

“Have you flown with anyone recently? Not on a plane obviously, but with someone who could fly like Big Blue.”

Without hesitation he answer, “Kori.” At Hal’s confused look he explained, “Koriand’r, some people call her Starfire? Really tall, kinda orange skin, hair like fire?”

“Oh! Alien princess right?”

“Yeah. She’s, uh, a really good friend.” And there he goes scratching his neck again.

“That’s perfect.” Hal grabbed his arm, pulling him out to the center of the would-be courtyard. The sun was nearly gone, leaving the sky a deep purple speckled with emerging stars. “Alright, now what I want you to do is close your eyes okay? It’s alright, go on.” Hal placed his hands on Jason’s arms. Once his eyes were closed he continued. “Now I want you to think about the last time you and Kori flew together, right? You got that?” He received a nod. “Good, now focus on the feeling of it, what it felt like leaving the ground, rising into the sky.” Hal began to float up, lifting Jason with him. “You have that?”

“Yeah, yeah I think I do.” He kept his eyes dutifully closed as Hal raised them higher.

“Okay, how did it feel?”

“Like I was fighting against gravity, like the Earth was trying to pull me back down.”

“And what do you feel right now?”

“...weightless.” He finally opened his eyes, peeking down from where they floated.

“That’s the feeling you want to focus on,” Hal explained. “Don’t think of it like you’re fighting gravity. Think of it as...falling up, like gravity is letting you go.”

After a few moments Hal took them back to the ground. Once they touched down he removed his hands from Jason’s arms and took a step back. He looked to be lost in thought as he stared past Hal’s shoulder. Now Hal was used to being stared at, or being the one doing the staring, but not this...whatever it was. Like he was in pain, like someone had punched him and he didn’t know why.

“What’s on your mind kid?”

“It feels like...I can’t remember where I felt it but I get that feeling that it was from before.”

“Before?”

“Before I cam back. From when I was dead.” He grimaced before looking away again. “Sorry. I really shouldn’t bother you with that.”

“No, no, don’t apologize, not for that, never for that.” Hal grabbed his shoulder causing him to look back at him. “Listen to me. You aren’t a burden, talking about your pains and the things that have hurt you is not a burden. You’ve been an ear for others, I’m sure. It’s not a bother if you need someone to do the same for you. Feeling that pain and acknowledging it is not wrong and anyone that tells you otherwise doesn’t have your best interest in mind.”

Jason’s look of confusion told Hal all he needed to know about that last statement.

He let out a long sigh. He’d known this conversation would come up at some point, he’d known it the minute he’d seen the scar on his chest. That didn’t make it any easier. “Have you ever talked to anyone about this? From the League? The other bats?”

He shook his head. “Roy and Kori tried a few times, but it never lasted long. I couldn’t put that on them, it wouldn’t be right.”

Hal was kind of scared to ask the next question but he knew it had to be done. “And the bats? Your old man?”

His eyes turned to ice, mouth straight as his hands clenched tight. “He thinks he knows what happened. That I ran off and started a fight I had no way of winning, that I got an innocent woman killed in the process. You’ve worked with him long enough Hal. You know once he’s decided what happened that’s it. Nothing you do or say can change that.”

“Then he’s a damn idiot.” Hal plopped himself to the ground and ran his hands over his face in frustration. Forget Batman freaking out over Hal finding Jason in space, Hal’s gonna beat him to the punch, quite literally. For how frustrating the guy was, for all their problems and disagreements over the years, Hal had always felt some level of respect for the guy. But now, sitting here with the man’s son, the son who _died for fuck’s sake..._ He’d been around the kid for less than a day and he could tell something absolutely wasn’t right.

For how Bruce had acted during that meeting and every meeting after it would have been safe to assume he loved this kid, that he cherished him and knew him like the back of his hand. Sure, there had been a few contradictions voiced by Nightwing and Red Robin, but nowhere near this bad. There had been nothing to show how clearly and completely they all seemed to misunderstand this kid. They thought he was violent and angry? Hal wasn’t sure he could last a day without knocking Bruce’s lights out under these conditions, let alone however many years Jason had done it.

Was it really Jason they missed? Or was it the idea of him? Was it the convenience his presence brought when dealing with Gotham? The convenience of a soldier that you could control by calling him son? 

By god he was gonna deck Bruce Wayne straight in the fucking face. He might even bring Guy and John along to help, maybe even Kyle too. John might not necessarily agree with a throw down on the Bat, but by god he would lecture the shit out of him for his shitty parenting and taking advantage of his kid. And then Hal and Guy could have their turn beating some sense into him.

He looked up to see Jason lowering himself to the ground. Man, he probably looked like he was angry with _him._ He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, focused on his breathing and being calm. The last thing Jason needed was Hal freaking out.

“I’ll be honest with you, I’m probably not the best person to handle this sort of thing,” Hal admitted. “I can’t say I know how you’re feeling or claim to know how you were feeling when it happened. What I can tell you is that you aren’t alone. That weightless feeling you talked about, that feeling like everything that had been holding you down had finally let go when you died, I understand that. When I died as Parallax I felt all that just leave. I felt peace for the first time in so long. But then I was pulled into that place and all that peace was ripped away from me.” He stopped for a moment, taking in Jason’s enraptured face. He’d died before all of the mess with Hal and Parallax hadn’t he? Had no one bothered to fill him in on everything he’d missed?

“Truth is, I died a villain. Sure, I died so I could reignite the sun, but I was still a villain, still evil. I can’t imagine how much worse it was for you. And then to come back and find out, well, everything. It’s a lot, and you shouldn’t feel like you need to suffer in silence or let the Bat just walk all over you.”

He watched, worried as Jason didn’t respond. The young man picked at the ground, eyes down turned. The only sounds around them were the creatures flying above, and Jason’s actions below.

“He didn’t know I was there,” he whispered, voice small and so low Hal almost didn’t hear him. “I’m not even sure he realized I was gone. He just appeared out of nowhere. I thought he’d come to take me home, that he might’ve actually been worried, that he cared enough to come find me. But he was just chasing the Joker. Like usual.”

Hal wanted so much to say something, to ask why he left, to condemn Bruce for ignoring his son who clearly just wanted his dad, for prioritizing his “mission” over the boy he had chosen to take in and adopt as his own. He wanted so much to say that and more, but he held his tongue and let Jason continue.

“He left to find the clown, or whatever the clown was planning to do. He left me with _her_. Told me not to go after the clown, don’t confront him if I see him. I had no intentions to.” He paused, a small sigh blowing out as he stared down at his hands. “It turned out she was being blackmailed. I did what I could to convince her to leave. She wouldn’t listen so I showed her I was Robin.” By that point his voice was emotionless, his eyes dead. Hal grit his teeth as he struggled to stay quiet in the face of the hurting young man. He might not know the full story, or even the version the Bat told, but he could tell what came next. It didn't take a genius to figure it out.

“She changed her tune, took me to a warehouse that she swore the Joker had deserted. That was a lie. She handed me over, stood by as it happened, as that freak tried to break every bone I had, just smoked a cigarette like it was no big deal. Then the Joker turned on her, left a bomb, locked the exits. My hands were too broken to do anything. I knew I wasn’t leaving alive.” He let out a shaky breath, hands once again turning to fists on the ground. “Even after all that I tried to shield her from the explosion. Can you believe that? This woman had turned on me, had given me over to be tortured and killed, and for some reason I still wanted to save her. I don’t know what happened after, what she might have told Bruce. All I remember was the sound, heat, then nothing. Just, nothing, not until I woke up again.”

He was hunching in on himself, eyes squeezed shut. Hal reached over, placed a hand on his shoulder hoping to anchor him, to provide some support. He’d known the young man’s death had been horrible, they all had when Bruce had finally told them what happened. But this? He wasn’t just broken then blown up, he’d been betrayed and forgotten. Even back then Bruce had made his priorities clear to Jason even if he didn’t realize it. Jason was not anywhere near the top of that list, not when it counted.

Jason let out another breath, broken and sharp. “He thinks I went to confront him, thinks she died because I took her with me. Even in death he couldn’t see me as anything other than an impulsive, angry kid with crime in his blood. I was just some homeless kid heading for a life of crime. In his mind it was probably for the better.”

He was shaking, tears in his eyes as he stared back at Hal. Hal moved to wipe away the few tears that had made their escape. He pulled him into a hug, holding him as well as he could considering the kid’s large frame. His grip tightened as Jason’s voice hitched and arms wrapped around his back. It wasn’t the same as holding his nieces or nephews when they needed someone to cry on. There he knew what to say, knew exactly what they needed to feel better and to get back up. Here, that wasn’t the case. 

There was no magic fix all for this, no magic words that would take away all the pain. While he knew the League therapists were taking care of the bats back on Earth that didn’t stop the misinformation they’d all let themselves believe for years, it didn’t change the lies they’d told themselves to justify their actions and beliefs.

The sky was completely dark by the time Jason’s breathing evened out, the only light around being the massive crystals and their own glow, the violet and green auras mixing and swirling together as they held each other. Jason finally pulled back, wiping his eyes as he did.

“Sorry, haven’t really done that in...well, a while.”

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Hal offered. His smile turned to a grin. “Considering how much snot my brothers’ kids leave on me when they cry this is easy peasy.”

Jason’s laugh was small, rough and broken. But it was genuine and that’s all that really mattered.

Hal watched him as he laughed, a million thoughts running through his head. There was so much going on between him and the other bats, so many accusations and so much blame passed around. No two people seemed to have the same story unless they were told the story by someone else. It was worse than a soap opera if Hal was being honest, and he hated those. 

He especially hated seeing how it had affected the kid before him, because really that’s all he was, wasn’t he? A kid that had been forced to grow up too quickly, who’d had every parental figure leave him in one way or another. He needed support, needed more people to rely on than just his two friends. He understood not wanting to burden your friends with such concerns, thinking the subject too dark or that they might not understand. He understood that all too well.

“Hey kiddo,” he called, drawing Jason’s attention. “Let me see your hand real quick, the one with the ring.”

Jason lifted his hand up, the violet ring front and center. Hal lifted his own and placed it against his. The rings glowed for a moment before dimming again, a female voice announcing “Connection successful” from Hal’s ring.

“What was that?” Jason asked as he inspected the ring.

“You know how with phones you exchange numbers? Basically that. You’re able to talk to other people in your corp and some outside of it if you create a connection with your ring.”

“So like speed dial.”

“Exactly. I’ll show you how to work it later okay? But just know if you ever need anyone to talk to, someone other than the Sapphires or your friends, you can contact me. And I guarantee before we leave Guy is gonna do the same thing, alright?” Jason nodded, a smile gracing his lips as he stared down at the ring. “Good, then I’d say it’s time we get some shut eye yeah? We’ll get you up and flying in the morning.”

* * *

True to Hal’s word Guy connected their rings the next morning. If Jason didn’t know better he’d have assumed Hal had told him everything that had been said the night before. Instead he pushed those thoughts away. He might not know any of the Lanterns that well, but he couldn’t see them gossiping about others’ problems and insecurities. Carol, with a sad smile, confirmed the thought when he brought it up.

“They can be grade A idiots, no doubt about that,” she said, gesturing to where Hal, Guy, and Kilowog were talking with some Sapphires. “But the last thing they would ever do is use your traumas and your anxieties against you. Them, John, Kyle, Simon, and Jess, they all have their own, many of which I’m sure they’re still working through. But they're willing to talk about those things, they want to help and support each other. It's not out of some obligation but because they genuinely care. Yeah they have their arguments but they work through them.”

He ran her words through his head, turning the information around as he thought of what that must be like. “That sort of thing, it just, it feels so alien, you know?”

“How so?”

“The closest thing I could relate that to is what I have with Roy and Kori. We’ve talked about some of our problems but we usually never got anywhere with them. Not anywhere significant anyway. That or I felt like they were giving way more attention to me than I was to them. With the family though? With Bruce and Dick, Tim and Cass and Damian and all the rest of them, you just don’t do that. Whatever problems you’re having, if they aren’t related to a case you bury that shit. You don’t talk about your feelings unless they’re, again, in relation to a case and it better be more of a “I have a feeling this is going to happen” rather than emotion feeling. If you did any of that it’d be used as a weapon, as a way to shut you down, to show you’re not as good as the other person.”

“And this is all of them?” She looked horrified, although that was quickly turning to anger the longer the conversation went on for.

“To varying extents yeah. There’s the few exceptions, Cass and Duke and Alfred, but the others? Yeah.” He looked down at his crossed arms, his fingers digging crescent grooves into his skin. “Sometimes I have to wonder if they’re even aware they’re doing it. I say something to one of them, or a villain makes a comment about something, and the next thing I know it’s being pulled out during a brief as a way to say my ideas are invalid or that I don’t know how to plan or strategize or some other stupid shit like that. They do it to each other as well, don’t get me wrong, it just never seems quite so…”

“Malicious?”

“Something like that.”

“It sounds like it’s become a sort of a learned behavior, something they’ve probably all seen Bruce over and over and they unconsciously began to copy it. And since it’s something the “leader” does and the leader doesn’t stop anyone from doing it, they all continue until it’s a common practice.”

“That ring give you a free course in psychology or something?” he joked.

“No,” she said, a smirk making its way to her face. “But I’ve been running a company full of hot heads who think they know better than me long enough to pick up on a few defining characteristics of that type.”

He hummed for a moment, the image of some idiot trying to explain to Carol of all people how a plane works running through his head. “I take it those types don’t last long.”

“Last one was gone in two weeks. I didn’t even have to say anything, he just stopped showing up one day. Oh, but he left a note so it’s not like he left _completely_ unprofessionally. Nope, not at all.”

“I can hear the sarcasm. Please tell me he was at least somewhat decent in this note.”

She didn’t answer, just turned and started floating towards the Green Lantern group. A few feet away she turned back, smirk still firmly in place. “Word of advice, don’t look down.”

He felt his feet meet the ground once her back was turned. He looked in wonder at his feet, eyes wide as they remained on the ground. Did he really just do that? Had he actually been floating without even realizing it? It sent a thrill of excitement down his spine. 

He’d finally begun to access his powers. It was minuscule, the floating and the shield both unconscious actions, but it meant he was getting somewhere. It meant he was closer to having control, to understanding and using these powers as they were meant to be used. As strange a thought as it was he had to admit, it meant he was closer to feeling normal, whatever that was.

* * *

Flying felt amazing. The feeling of the wind in his hair and the sun on his back was something he’d rarely felt before. Feeling all of that in a situation without danger, where he wasn’t being dropped into a battle or flown away from attackers was even more rare. And flying on his own, without Kori or Kara or Clark or anyone else carrying him? Impossible. 

A giggle slipped out as he spun around, Zamaron’s landscape spinning as he did. He heard Guy laugh behind him, amused by his antics. Hal had done the same thing earlier and he was sure Carol would continue the trend later. He couldn’t help it, he felt like a teenager who’d been given the keys to a brand new sports car after wanting it for years. He was loving every second of it and he didn’t want to stop. 

The closest he’d ever gotten to this feeling was when he traveled across Gotham’s rooftops. The freedom that had given him, the momentary feeling of gravity letting him go as he soared through the cityscape before it pulled him back down again had always been one of his favorite parts of being a Gotham vigilante. This on the other hand, gravity had nothing on this.

It’d taken Hal and Guy nearly three days to get him there. He still struggled with creating constructs, only capable of pulling them up unconsciously, but he could feel the power in them when he did. And they were getting easier to maintain, no longer splintering the second he looked away. 

Strangely enough everyone else was just as excited about his progress as he was, if not more so. It wasn’t much, just words of praise, a clap on the shoulder, a twinkle in an eye, a hug, but it may as well have been a party for how excited they were when they did it. Hell, Hal had been bouncing like a puppy the first time he’d maintained a construct for more than ten seconds.

In a way it felt like he was back in Gotham, down in the Narrows with the kids who would all get excited at every little thing he did. They were the ones who would crowd around him, no matter how haggard he was feeling, how much blood was on his jacket, or how torn up his gloves were. They would come up to him wide eyed and with the biggest smiles asking what cool things he’d done lately or what bad guys he’d fought when he was gone for weeks at a time. God he missed those kids.

He flipped before diving under one of the many floating structures, a promise forming in his mind. He might not be heading back to Earth just yet, but when he did he’d be giving those kids one hell of a show. Though he supposed they would need to give him a new nickname, Papa Rojo wouldn’t really work anymore if he was to stick with the violet suit.

They floated down to the ground a few minutes later. His landings were still a bit rough, but his experience in controlled falls and similar landings during his time as a vigilante more than made up for it.

“Try to pull back just a little bit earlier next time,” Guy offered as he dropped down next to him.

“Can do,” he answered as he shook out his limbs and bounced a few times. In a way flying felt like swimming, at least the disorientation and the phantom sensations one got after swimming anyway. Suddenly feeling his weight being pulled down by gravity made it feel wrong to be on ground.

“Once you get that figured out I’d say you’re good to go,” he said. “Seriously kid, we’ve been here, what? Four, four and a half days and you went from next to nothing to flying like you were born for it. I’m proud of you.”

He ducked his head, a smile stretching across his face.”You act like you and the others didn’t help.”

“Sure we _helped_ ,” he said as he threw an arm around his shoulders. “But at the end of the day you made progress because _you_ worked for. I could be the best teacher in the damn universe but if someone won’t listen and refuses to try there’s nothing I can do that’ll make ‘em learn.”

He pulled them to a stop outside their destination, his arm still across Jason’s shoulders.

“Your progress and your success is your’s and your’s alone, don’t you forget that.. Anyone that’s gonna tell you that you didn’t achieve something just because you got help is a sack of shit who doesn’t deserve the time of day. You worked hard to get to where you are, you have every right to be proud of that.”

It still felt strange hearing things like that, that he could be proud of himself and his work, that he’d even _done_ good work. He was so used to being told what he’d screwed up, what he needed to change, why his work wasn’t good enough. This? This was different, a good kind of different. He didn’t have to hide his reaction to these things, he didn’t have to pretend to be alright. Because for once in his life he actually was.

“Thanks,” he said as he bumped their shoulders together. “We should probably head in, huh?”

“Yeah,” he drawled. “Man, I wish we could stay longer. Feels wrong leaving you mid-training. And this has been so relaxing too. Ugh.” 

Guy led them through the doorway, heading to where Hal, Carol, and Kilowog were seated.

“Duty calls,” he joked.

“Such a cruel mistress she is.”

“Hey, while I’m thinking about it, can I ask you for a favor?” He rubbed his neck, feeling a bit awkward as they came to a stop away from the others.

“Absolutely. Whatcha need?”

“Well, um,” he looked to the others, finding them still in conversation. “Is there anyway you can get a message to Earth for me? It’s just…” he trailed off, unsure of how to explain.

“Yeah, definitely.” He patted over his suit vest, coming up empty. “Hang on, let me go grab something.” He turned to the others. “Hey Kilowog!”

“What do you want Poozer?” the giant pink alien asked.

Guy walked over. “Any chance you got one of those holo discs on you? The one for sending messages? I musta left mine back on Oa.”

Kilowog reached somewhere, Jason wasn’t entirely sure where, and pulled out a small gray disc. “You mean this?”

“Yeah, any chance Jason can have it?”

Kilowog turned his beady red eyes on Jason, eyes squinting the longer he stared before he let up. He held the disc up for Guy to take. “Aww, what the heck here. We’ll call it an early training present.” He handed the disc to Guy before returning to his conversation with the others.

Guy walked back, disc now in hand. “We use these to record hologram videos. So they’re like video messages, only more 3D. Hal and I aren’t gonna be back on Earth for at least another two months. Kyle leaves in the next few weeks though. If you’re okay with it, I can have him deliver it for ya.”

“Yeah, that sounds perfect.” Guy showed him how to work the disc, demonstrating each button and the video itself. It really was some sleek technology. He’d need to find some of his own if he could.

“Whenever you’re done with it just give it to me and I’ll make sure it gets to the bats for you.”

“Oh no, it’s uh, not for any of them.”

He raised an eyebrow in surprise before realization took over. He shook his head with a smile before heading back to the group.

Jason stared down at the disc in his hands. He’d forgotten so many things in his bid to leave Gotham all those nights ago. This was at least one that he could rectify to some capacity.

* * *

Epilogue

Not many people came to the island, what with its location not being on any map and Roy’s and Kori’s respective tech shielding it from any satellites. Sure they had the odd Leaguer come by from time to time to lecture the Outlaws, but they’d never been visited by a Green Lantern. They were usually pretty chill as far as Roy was concerned.

He watched skeptically as Kyle floated down to land in the sand below. He looked around in wonder as Roy walked up to him, hand at the ready to arm his Roybots if needed.

“What are you doing here Rayner?” he growled. He was not in the mood to deal with the League and their bullshit right now. 

Kyle’s eyes snapped to him, well he assumed they did. The Lantern’s mask made it hard to tell. Seriously, who told him that design was a good idea? He held out his hand, a small disk held in his palm. 

“This is for you,” he answered wearily.

Roy raised an eyebrow, finger still on the switch at his hip. He really didn’t have the patience for this today. “And what is this?”

His discomfort was clear to see as he chewed on his lip. He clearly hadn’t expected this to take quite so long, or for Roy to ask any questions. “I don’t know. A message I guess? Guy gave it to me before I left Oa, said I needed to give it to you when I got here.”

He watched as the Lantern squirmed for a few more seconds before taking the disc. “Thanks,” he said as he held the disc up to his face. “How does this thing work?”

Kyle walked through the various buttons with him, explaining how the image displayed and how to alter it if need be. Roy nodded as he soaked up the new information. Kyle left soon after, more than glad to be away from the archer.

Roy trudged back to the ship he’d been calling a home, patting a Roybot’s head before making it to his work room. The space was just as he’d left it before receiving the proximity alert: bits and pieces of tech scattered around, tools lined up on the walls, and his computer screens open to show the goings on in Gotham in regards to Jason’s various people and assets there. He knew the chances of him finding his friend in the city were slim to none at this point, but the least he could do was ensure his operations continued smoothly. It still amazed him how many side projects the other could have outside of his work as a vigilante.

He set the disc down on his table, using the computer to scan it for any explosives or other dangers. While it may have been given to him by an ally, that didn’t mean it couldn’t be booby trapped by someone else. Or that said ally hadn’t been brainwashed or mind controlled. He’d been in this game long enough, he knew how it worked.

He moved the disc to an empty table, setting it so its display projector was facing up as Kyle had instructed. Light erupted from the surface after he pressed the play button, the light moving and shifting as it began to form a shape. As it formed Jason.

“Hi Roy, umm, it’s me.”

Shock took over for a brief second before relief flooded his entire being. He watched the visual of Jason shuffle in the light as he drew in a breath.

“I don’t really know how to explain this,” the message continued as Jason rubbed his neck, gesturing to himself. And hell, that outfit was definitely new. “But I, well, fuck. I’m sorry Roy, god you must have been so worried. I didn’t even think to call before I left or anything and I just...I’m the worst, huh?”

“No Jay,” Roy whispered. “Never.”

“I guess I should explain something huh? I’m not on Earth, in case the alien tech didn’t give that away. I’m kind of-”

“Daddy?” A young girl’s voice came from the doorway. Lian walked in, eyes wide as she looked up to him. “Is that Uncle Jay?”

“Yeah. Why don’t you come here so you can see?” He lifted his daughter into his lap once she got close enough. He wrapped his arms around her as he heard her gasp of joy.

“His hair, he didn’t color it.” True to her words the white patch of hair at the front of Jason’s face stood out amongst the black. “It looks so good, right Daddy?”

“Hmm, I’d say you’re right baby girl.”

She pursed her lips as she looked back at her father with a familiar glint was in her eyes, one he knew all too well could be seen in his own. “You can say he’s cute.”

“Heh, I’m not so sure of that Pumpkin. Your Uncle Jay doesn’t take too kindly to me calling him things like that. Jaybird's bad enough, but cute? I like my ribs nice and unbroken.”

“Fine,” she groaned as she crossed her arms and pouted. “Then when are you making Uncle Jay my other dad?”

He hung his head on her shoulder. It’d been months since they’d last had this conversation, he’d honestly hoped she’d given up on it. 

“Lian, baby, it’s not that simple-”

“You said you could do it. And I’ve been waiting for _forever_.” She jutted her chin out in what had to be the cutest face he’d ever seen. She tilted her chin up and looked down on her father. “You love Uncle Jay right?”

“Of course I do, but-”

“No buts. I love him too, so we need to make him my dad.”

“Lian, honey bunches, my princess, sweet peach, with Uncle Jay’s current, uh, legal existence, the law wouldn’t let that happen, not anywhere we live anyway. And then there's the issue of consent too hun, I can't just sign legal documents for him. He needs to want it too honey.”

“Well duh. But Uncle Jay already loves us, so you don’t have to worry about _that_.”

He groaned and hung his head again. It didn’t matter how many times this conversation came up, she always had to keep going. It wasn't that it was a bad idea, hell he'd pondered the thought more evenings than he'd like to admit.

It's not like Jason was bad with kids, if anything he was too good. He may seem big and scary to adults, but to children like Lian he was amazing. They loved him and he somehow always managed to love them back. Hell, there had been more than a few single parents that Roy's had to fight off during their friendship. Jason never seemed to realize when he was being hunted, not in that way at least, which was probably for the best. Truth be told Jason got mistaken for Lian's father more than enough to convince most people he already was so no, the issue wasn't that he couldn't handle a child. 

No, the big problem was that legal elephant in the room. As much as they may want Jason's name on Lian's legal documents, dead teenagers couldn't get custody no matter how good they were with children. Legally dead people didn't get married or get custody, they couldn't vote or own property or open bank accounts, not under their real name anyway. Opening a bank account was one thing for Jason, he could drop the account and anything connected to it at the first sign of trouble. He didn't need his real name for that. But getting custody of Lian? He'd want his real name on those certificates, he'd want it to be real.

Roy had originally thought up the plan as a way to keep her safe, to ensure that even if something happened to him she'd still have someone to take care of her. Out of everyone he knew Jason would be the one to drop everything he was doing to ensure her safety and happiness. But without any legal rights, that just couldn't happen.

As could be expected none of that really mattered to a child who wanted a second parent. Lian didn't just want a guardian, she didn't just want her Uncle Jay to take care of her, no she wanted a dad and in her seven year old brain there was only one way to do that that made sense: marriage. Legal issues aside Roy just couldn't bring himself to really consider the idea. For one, he couldn't bear the thought of the disappointment he and his daughter would feel if it didn't pan out and two, Jason was his best friend. Sure he'd heard plenty of stories of best friends turning into something more but he'd also heard enough stories in the reverse. He wasn't willing to risk their friendship like that, it meant too much to him. Jason meant too much to him. 

Lian hummed in front of him as she watched message Jason talk for a moment, thoughts swirling around in her little noggin. “Uncle Jay’s in space right?” She turned to him and waited for his nod. “Aunt Kori’s a princess on another planet. We can do it there!” Her eyes lit up in excitement as she began to bounce on his lap. “That would be so cool!”

Roy laughed behind her, letting his fingers comb through her hair before kissing her head. She thought of everything didn't she? “We’ll see what we can do.”

“Pinky swear?” She held up one of her small pinky fingers.

“Pinky swear,” he agreed as he grabbed her finger with his own. This was always the hardest part of these conversations he'd found, the part where he had to promise her something that would probably never happen. It somehow got easier every time, but the guilt also managed to be heavier.

“Awesome!” She turned back to Jason’s image. He was talking about whatever planet he was on. Lian gasped as she watched, hands flailing as she pointed towards his torso and practically squealed. “Daddy, Daddy, his clothes! They’re sparkling or shifting colors or something. Can you make me something that does that? It’s so pretty.”

He chuckled as he pulled her close, resting his head on hers once again. “We’ll see, I’m an engineer hun, not a fashion designer.”

She gave him the most innocent, wide eyed stare she was capable of as she asked, “Why not both?”

“We’ll see we’ll see.” They looked back to the ending message that they’d undoubtedly be replaying for days to come.

“-miss you guys so much. Hopefully I’ll see you soon.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to so many people liking Roy in Falling into Darkness he managed to weasle his way into the ending there along with Lian. I'm trying to decide if I should go ahead in the future with adding in the JayRoy or just leaving it as the wishful thinking of a child. Let me know if you guys have a preference either way.  
> For a bit of context, a lot of my understanding of Hal, Carol, Guy, and Kilowog's characters come from the Green Lantern Animated Series, along with random comics, the animated movies and some other information I've found along the way while researching for this series. While canon seems to favor making Guy the "angry" Lantern and Hal kind of an idiot, with their backgrounds it felt wrong just to generalize them in that way. My goal is always to try and write these characters like they're actual people, which means their past experiences and backgrounds are going to affect how they act in different situations. Guy has a past with counseling and teaching, Hal has multiple nieces/nephews that he's undoubtedly comforted over the years, Carol runs a company with however many employees, and that's all just basic Earth stuff. Even within that they're going to have differences in how they approach a situation, especially ones dealing with someone in a negative headspace, they're going to have different ways of supporting that individual. I'm hoping that came across in this story, feel free to let me know if there was any confusion.  
> For anyone interested, I'm on tumblr [ do_not_careissa ](https://do-not-careissa.tumblr.com/)  
> 


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